Practicing What I Preach: How I Hired my own Advisor
DEAR ADVISORS,
Recently, I had an interesting conversation with a colleague. She went in for her annual physical and noticed that her doctor had gained weight. When they joked about it, the doctor admitted that she’s not always good about following the advice she gives her patients. If we’re honest with ourselves, we’re all guilty of that somewhere in our lives.
I’ve seen something similar in my own industry— advisors don’t always follow the counsel they give their clients, and that’s not a joking matter. It’s a real problem that carries real risks. Making the decision to hire our own financial advisor, even though I am fully qualified to do it myself, was one of the best decisions my husband and I made! To be honest, we wouldn’t have lived in France for a few months last year without the help of our financial advisor! We needed someone to help us stay focused on our own financial/personal goals and “pull the trigger” towards our dream instead of keeping them on the back burner.
Finding a financial advisor when you are one has its own unique challenges. There can be some big mental hurdles to overcome. So, here are three tips that helped me find my own financial advisor and make sure I am practicing what I preach!
Be Honest with Yourself
You’ve likely seen your clients struggle with anxiety about their financial habits, maybe regrets from past mistakes too. Advisors are people too! If you take a look inside, I’m sure you will find your own emotional hurdles and habits to overcome when it comes to money.
The fact is, those of us who advise clients on good financial habits feel a hundred times more ashamed of ourselves if our own finances aren’t in order. Just like the hairstylist who scowls at their uneven edges or the builder who frets about their drafty bedroom windows, we feel the same insecurities when our coins aren’t all carefully laid out and shiny.
Being honest about your own emotions and struggles when it comes to financial wellness is key! If you needed permission, here is your green light to let go of the shame tied to not having your finances perfectly in order. You don’t need to keep it as your dirty little secret. Don’t believe the lie that you aren’t a fraud. You are a PERSON, and we all sometimes need accountability to make significant strides towards our own personal, financial, and business goals!
Define Money Mindsets Holding You Back
We all have mindsets about money. Some push us forward towards the life we want, and some hold us back. Advisors are some of the most frugal people I know and often think spending money on themselves is frivolous. That guilt can hold you back from investing in an integral part of your business —YOU!
At my Kingdom Advisors December study group, we discussed our own money mindsets and why we have them. At the end of the session, our group leader asked us what we tell our clients when they share their own counterproductive money mindsets. Talking to yourself the same way you would talk to a client is a great exercise in self-awareness. Are you as encouraging to yourself as you are to your clients?
Here’s what I would say to one of my advisor clients who shares a money mindset holding them back:
“Thank you for sharing this with me. I know it’s not a good feeling, but by being candid, you’ve already taken a big step forward. Part of the reason you hired me is that you’re committed to becoming the person you want to be. As your advisor, I’m committed to helping you get there, and we’re going to build a plan to propel you along the path to becoming that person. I can’t promise that these feelings of guilt and insecurity will go away, especially if you let those old habits creep back into the day-to-day, but the worst part is behind you now. Now you’ve got me as your accountability partner. I’m invested in getting you on track so you can develop better habits and healthy money mindsets. What are your thoughts?”
Consider a Guide that works Differently than You
I know an advisor who said he hasn’t hired his own advisor because he can’t find the right person—one that he trusts, whose work aligns with his methods and attitudes. He has very a high standard, and he wants someone who isn’t satisfied with anything less. Just like doctors can sometimes be the worst patients, advisors can struggle with hiring their own financial advisor. Using the physician scenario again, doctors DO need their own doctors, and finding one has even saved lives. The outside perspective truly makes a difference.
I believe as financial planners ourselves, what we are looking for in an advisor is different than what our clients seek. But, maybe the “right” person isn’t someone that works like you. Hiring an advisor who does things differently than you do isn’t always a bad thing. (Should I say that again for people in the back?!😃) Before I lose you, let me share a personal example. I don’t have the right training to offer life planning services, but another advisor offered to take me and my husband through the process as a practice run before, they began offering that service to their clients. It was emotionally challenging, but it made us take a long, hard look at our values, goals, and how we allocate our resources. In the end, it was the right choice to work with someone who works differently than me.
Since my husband and I hired our own planner, I’ve come to appreciate that our advisor doesn’t do financial planning the same way I do— or as thoroughly as I like to think I do. He prefers different software and has done little life planning. At this point, I’d describe my process as a mix of life planning and traditional financial planning. He may not do it the way I do, but my husband still practices accurate, meaningful financial planning. In fact, I like his methods better for us than I do the methods I use with my clients!
So when you are considering hiring your own financial planner, don’t look for someone who mirrors everything you do. Allow room for fresh perspective and methods that will enrich the whole experience and brings something to the table that you don’t already have in your arsenal.
These experiences and conversations with other advisors have challenged me to redefine my definition of financial planning. Whatever your financial goals are in hiring an advisor, it's vital to find one who shares your values, can help you achieve your goals, and who will walk through the hard emotions with you. To benefit from someone else’s perspective, you need to be willing to be vulnerable.
We aren’t always able to work out what our values are or what changes we need to make, but no one said you have to go it alone, and if they did, they’re wrong. Take some time soon to sit down with yourself and think about what negative emotions, habits, and underlying beliefs are holding you back from finding your guide. If you think I could be the right fit for you, I’m happy to have that conversation or help refer you to a planner who is. Contact me any time to learn more about how the future of your family and your advisory firm can be secure and supported!
Warm regards,
Brooklyn
P.S.
At Ellevate Advisors, we believe that advisors deserve to retire too. What does that look like for you, your family, and your business? Let’s figure it out together! Check out our services here, our new products page here, or get to know me on my bio here!