Self-care for Financial Advisors
DEAR ADVISORS,
If you've been following my story, you know that my family and I recently returned from living and working in France for two months! The trip was a decade in the making and filled with unforgettable adventures! Today, I want to share with you something you probably don't know about the trip: it was equally filled with incredible hardships.
Hard things happen to everyone, which is why I think it is incredibly important to talk about them! Being honest about our struggles, whether in life or business, is how we support one another and grow from each other's experiences. Healthy businesses grow from healthy people. Healthy people are vulnerable when it counts. Here is the link to my personal YouTube channel with an episode on this topic; Or you can continue reading here to learn the REAL story of how living abroad in France wasn't all raindrops on roses, and how self-care can make all the difference.
The Inside Scoop: How I REALLY felt while traveling abroad
The emotional rollercoaster began when I realized I'd be working much longer hours than I had originally planned. Before traveling to France, I told myself I wouldn't take on any new clients. My husband and I had been planning this extended trip for years, and I didn't want to overwork during this dream come true. However, within a couple weeks of our arrival, I had multiple prospects ready to onboard as clients. I will insert a disclosure that this was a WONDERFUL thing to happen, and I feel so incredibly fortunate! I love helping other financial advisors and am grateful for a growing business. But I will be honest that I struggled mentally and emotionally with working long hours when I wanted to get out to explore a new country.
The next hard thing that happened was we received tragic news that a close friend passed away unexpectedly. It was even more difficult to process because we knew we couldn’t make it back for her memorial service or be there to comfort her husband. Aron and I did a lot of internal soul searching and also assessed our own relationship if one of us was to pass away. From that point on, I began facing every experience in France with the mentality of, "If I'm not here tomorrow, what will I regret not having done?"
On top of a smorgasbord of grief and stress, I simultaneously combated feelings of disappointment in my business's stage of growth. Picture a black and white scene, me sitting behind my computer in a Paris apartment, longingly looking out the window at the Eiffel Tower in the far distance, while melancholy accordion music plays in the background. Oui, that's pretty much how I felt part of my time in France!
The Turn Around: Talking with my Counselor
As a standard practice of self-care, I talk to a counselor at least once a month. Thankfully, I had a virtual call with her scheduled while living abroad. I was able to openly talk about the things going on, and my counselor helped me see that I was being way too hard on myself.
I had been working with my biggest client on her exciting 10-year goal of a talent development program. I had stars in my eyes helping my client realize her dream of impacting 50 female advisors before she turned 50 and was so excited about the future of her company! Meanwhile, I was looking at my own business and feeling inadequate and depressed by its current progress.
My counselor brought to light a profound mistake: I was holding myself and my business to an unfair standard and comparing my business to my client's business, even though the two were incomparable.
Exhibit A: I started my business from scratch 18 months ago with a service model for exit coaching for advisors that has never existed before.
Exhibit B: My client acquired an established advisory firm and has hundreds of thousands of dollars to pour into her initiative to impact the industry.
The two situations are not evenly matched. I wasn't holding myself to my own success level and set myself up for failure by adopting the wrong perspective. When I took off the faulty lenses of comparison, I saw that my business has been consistently growing in revenue, staff, and clients being impacted. I should be celebrating! Talking to someone with outside perspective helped me realize I was punishing myself for the stage of growth my business was in. That shift changed everything!
The Takeaway: Talk to an Outside Party Regularly
When we hear the word "self-care" we often picture things like monthly massages or going for a run. However, self-care for advisors and business owners should include talking to someone outside your business on a regular basis about your worries and concerns.
Talking to your spouse is not enough of a solution! They are too close to the situation. It has to be an outside party, whether it is a counselor/therapist, growth coach, or even a mentor you trust. It's not healthy to stay silent about your mental blocks and hardships.
In the finance industry, we should normalize that hiring a counselor is something everyone benefits from no matter what stage of life you are in! That's exactly what my mom told me growing up, so it doesn't have the bad stigma like it does for some others. Counselors want to make your life better and are equipped to see things you aren’t. End of story!
My husband and I plan to take more exploratory trips to France in the future, with the eventual dream of buying a vacation home there. I can’t imagine accomplishing life and business goals without my counselor being a part of the picture! Talking to a counselor while going through hard things living abroad was like turning the lights back on. I couldn’t have done it on my own! There are so many things to be thankful for and so much life to love, but sometimes it takes an outside perspective to help process your hang-ups and change your trajectory for the better. Not only that, but this form of self-care could be a key player in growing and securing a successful advisory firm that will last for generations to come!
Warm regards,
Brooklyn
P.S.
At Ellevate Advisors, we believe that advisors deserve to retire too. What does that look like for you, your family, and your business? Let’s figure it out together! Check out our services here, our new products page here, or get to know me on my bio here!