My Struggle with Fear of Success
DEAR ADVISORS,
Fear of Success… That sounds a little crazy to me. Who is afraid of success?!? It’s easy to overlook because each of us define success differently. For that reason, we each experience different symptoms. You may be struggling with Fear of Success if you’re having any of these thoughts:
What if I don’t actually want the spotlight on me? What if it’s more painful to gain and then lose the spotlight than to never have had it at all?
What if a gathering audience brings out detractors, trolls, and assorted meanies?
What if, when the time comes, I won’t deliver?
I’m afraid success will turn me into something I don’t want to be.
I’m worried that if I become successful, I won’t have time for the things I do now. I don’t actually want things to change.
The Fear of Success is actually a type of Imposter Syndrome, which is loosely defined as doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud. Within Imposter Syndrome, there are the 6 main types of Fear of Success. We’ve listed each below, as well as tips on how to overcome them. I thought I was #1, but then I thought #4 sounds a lot like me too! Which one are you?
The Goal Addict (Type 1) - You know what you want and you go for it. This is your typical Overachiever. However, the reason you may be driven to achieve is to get away from parts of your life you don’t enjoy. When you find yourself hating on something in your life, explore the reasons why and how it is impacting your happiness. More often than not, successful people are not happy. Strive to balance what makes you successful AND what makes you happy.
The Goal Addict (Type 2) - I think my husband probably falls in this category!. These types of achievers are constantly working towards small goals, but don’t feel that they’re making progress they can be proud of. The solution is to explore your big hopes and dreams. Don’t worry about what people will think when you fail or make mistakes. Get clear on what you want from life and remind yourself of your genius and skills. Pursue both your small and your big dreams!
Disbelievers - You may be one of the team members who fight change or justify why things will never change. You’re probably doubting your own skills and the skills of your team. Be aware of the language you use on yourself. The very situation that makes you feel safe may keep you from moving forward and achieving your goals. Find a friend or mentor to help you challenge your perspective without relinquishing your beliefs and values.
Saboteurs - This may be you if you put in the long hours and do all the right things but never feel like you’re good enough, or that you’ve done enough. One helpful exercise is to talk through something that went wrong and then list everything you learned from that struggle. Yes, you should analyze the problem, but also analyze the solution and all the good that came from it. The facts don’t lie! Repeat this exercise regularly to start recognizing your wins and changing your mindset.
Half-Hearters - These team members are like sponges, taking in all the new information, but not actually using it to change and accomplish goals. You may feel like you’ve tried everything, but at the end of the day, the underlying fear has subconscious control over your progress. Try asking yourself the 5 Why’s. When you confront a problem, ask yourself why it’s a problem? The goal is to get to the root cause, or the root fear, that you need to overcome. Knowing that, and having gathered ideas for solutions, gives you all the tools you need to start achieving your goals!
Inventors - You may be an Inventor if you find yourself creating a perception of reality that supports where you are now. You don’t even recognize your fear of success because your belief in your current reality keeps you safe and means it’s hard to make progress on your goals without finding someone you trust to help you confront whatever reality you’ve created for yourself today. Don’t berate yourself for who you are or where you are in life. Instead, take time to evaluate your emotions. It makes you stronger and more aware of what’s truly possible for you to achieve.
Last fall I did a terrifying interview for the XYPN Radio podcast! It was my first podcast interview in my life, and it felt really important to the future of my business! During the interview, Maddy asked if I struggle with Imposter Syndrome and I said no at the time. I think if I truly didn’t struggle with it, I wouldn’t have been afraid of the interview! But the more I experience life, the more I learn about myself and what makes me tick. That has become a huge part of what we do for our advisor clients. Even our financial planning meetings in Q1 of every year focus on your relationship with yourself and your money. We cover topics like this blog today, to help you achieve your goals, change your life, and ultimately secure the future of your family and financial advisory firm!
Warm regards,
Brooklyn
P.S.
At Ellevate Advisors, we believe that advisors deserve to retire too. What does that look like for you, your family, and your business? Let’s figure it out together! Click here to schedule an initial phone call with our team today or get to know me on my bio here!